If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.
The title is, of course, a paraphrased quote from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland:
Last week, I shared seven habits of highly successful people. These come from over 35 years on active duty and as a civilian training special operations guys and gals.
Even among the highest performers on the planet, some excel above the pack.
So, today, I'd like to dive into the habit I consider most critical, - Clarity- knowing where you are going.
Knowing where one is going seems simple, but most people have no idea. They get up in the morning and spend the day doing something similar to what they did the day before.
They probably have some goals- or short-term plans. But the most successful have spent time answering the questions: Where am I going, and why?" And “What compass will I use?”
We'll take them one at a time.
Where are you going? If you haven't asked this question, chances are you are too busy looking at the immediate problems around you to lift your eyes and see where you are headed.
It's understandable, we're all busy. But at some point, we will need to stop, take a few minutes, check the map, and decide where we want to end up.
Most of us, don't start asking the question until we reach what David Brooks calls ‘the second mountain’ in his book of the same name.
The problem is, we don’t even know that there is a second mountain until we reach the top of the first. And this usually occurs around mid-life.
For me, it was retiring from active duty. It is often a major life event or reaching a certain level of success that makes us realize that there has to be another mountain in the distance and that prods us to pull out the map and decide where we are going.
Brooks lists the following four commitments of the second mountain.
1. Vocation: Finding a purpose in work that is larger than oneself.
2. Marriage and Family: Building deep, committed relationships with family and spouse.
3. Philosophy or Faith: Developing a coherent worldview or faith system that gives meaning and moral direction.
4. Community: Contributing to a community that supports and values us.
When we can answer the question, “Where am I going?” The answer to ‘Why’ should be clear. According to Self-Determination Theory, our Why addresses our need for Autonomy, Competence, and/or Relatedness.
Next, we need to answer, “What compass will I use?” What are the values that are important enough to serve as the moral compass that will guide us in making decisions about how we will travel?
I like to think of values as guard rails on either side of the route.
When faced with a decision we should weigh it against the 3-5 values that are most important to us.
If we know where we are going and why, then follow the path that aligns with the values we hold, the path won’t be easy, but we’ll be headed in the right direction and proud of ourselves when we get there.
Until next week,
Keep Walking Point
John
If you have any questions or feedback about today's newsletter or if you'd just like to reach out, email me at john@walkingpoint.org. I’ll do my best to respond as quickly as possible.
